Boredom Enthusiasts Discover the Joys of Understimulation

By GAUTAM NAIK / The Wall Street Journal

 

LONDON—"Brace yourself for five piping-hot minutes of inertia," said

William Barrett. Then he began reciting the names of every single one

of 415 colors listed in a paint catalog: damson dream, dauphin,

dayroom yellow, dead salmon…and on and on and on.

 

Mr. Barrett's talk was titled, "Like Listening to Paint Dry," and to

judge from the droopy faces in the audience, it was a hit. He was

speaking, after all, at a conference of boredom enthusiasts called

Boring 2010, held here Dec. 11.

 

Rhodri Marsden speaks on 'The Draw In Test Match Cricket.'

 

 

For seven hours on that Saturday, 20 speakers held forth on a range

of seemingly dreary diversions, from "The Intangible Beauty of Car

Park Roofs" and "Personal Reflections on the English Breakfast," to

"The Draw in Test Match Cricket" and "My Relationship With Bus

Routes." Meanwhile, some of the 200 audience members—each of whom had

paid £15 (about $24) for a ticket—tried not to nod off.

 

Not many did, surprisingly. "It is quintessentially English to look

at something dull as ditchwater and find it interesting," said Hamish

Thompson, who runs a public-relations firm and was in the audience.

 

Boring 2010 is the handiwork of James Ward, 29 years old, who works

for a DVD distribution and production company. In his other life, as

the envoy of ennui, Mr. Ward edits a blog called "I Like Boring

Things." He is also co-founder of the Stationery Club, whose 45

members meet occasionally to discuss pens, paper clips and Post-it

Notes.

 

For another of his projects, Mr. Ward over the past 18 months has

visited 160 London convenience stores and made careful notes about a

popular chocolate bar called Twirl, including the product's

availability, price and storage conditions. He publishes the details

online.

 

Boredom has become a serious subject for scientific inquiry. For

example, a 25-year study of British civil servants published earlier

this year found that some people really can be bored to death: People

who complain about "high levels" of boredom in their lives are at

double the risk of dying from a stroke or heart disease, the study

concluded.

James Ward

 

 

The "Boring Institute," in South Orange, N.J., started as a spoof.

Its website says it now plays a more serious role describing "the

dangers that are associated with too much boredom and offers advice

on how to avoid it."

 

Tell that to the Marines. It's a well-known fact that soldiers who

experience war trauma in the field are at higher risk of displaying

antisocial behavior, such as getting into fights or neglecting their

families, once they return home.

 

But a survey of more than 1,500 U.S. Marines, published in September

in the journal Aggressive Behavior, suggests that being bored may be

a bigger risk factor for such behavior than war trauma is.

 

Boring 2010 sprang to life when Mr. Ward heard that an event called

the Interesting Conference had been canceled, and he sent out a joke

tweet about the need to have a Boring Conference instead. He was

taken aback when dozens of people responded enthusiastically.

 

Soon, he was hatching plans for the first-ever meet-up of the

like-mindedly mundane. The first 50 tickets for Boring 2010 sold in

seven minutes.

 

"I guess the joke is on me," said the laid-back Mr. Ward. "I've

created this trap and there's no way out."

 

Proceedings at the sell-out event were kicked off by Mr. Ward

himself, who discussed his tie collection at great length,

accompanied by a PowerPoint presentation.

 

He noted that as of June 2010, he owned 55 ties, and 45.5% of them

were of a single color. By December, his tie collection had jumped by

36%, although the share of single-color ties fell by 1.5%.

 

"Ties are getting slightly more colorful," he noted. Also,

apparently, his taste was improving. By December, only 64% of his

ties were polyester, down from 73% in June.

 

Even less stirring was a milk tasting. Ed Ross, an actor, swirled,

sniffed and sipped five different milks in wine glasses, commenting

on each one's flavor, finish and ideal "food pairing." (Cereals got

mentioned a lot.)

 

One eagerly awaited talk was about writer Peter Fletcher's meticulous

three-year—and still running—sneeze count. With the help of graphs

and charts, Mr. Fletcher disclosed that he had sneezed 2,267 times in

the past 1,249 days, thus gaining "a profound understanding of the

passing of time."

 

"I've even sneezed when recording a sneeze," he said.

 

Karen Christopher of Chicago, who now lives in London, found at least

one presentation so wearisome that she stopped paying attention. "I

started thinking about Swedish police procedurals instead," she said.

 

The organizers did their best to keep the audience alert. Many

viewers brought coffee, and each received a goodie bag containing an

energy bar.

 

After a much-needed break, a drawing was held. Some of the winners

got a DVD called "Helvetica," a 2007 documentary about typography.

 

To mix things up, Mr. Ward and his colleagues set up a 1,000-piece

jigsaw puzzle depicting British cereal boxes from the 1970s. Each

attendee got a few pieces of the puzzle and was asked to help

complete it.

For all its archness, the conference occasionally veered from the

ridiculous to the philosophical.

 

Journalist and author Naomi Alderman spoke about the difficulty of

having to observe the Jewish Sabbath as a child. Her talk, "What It's

Like to Do Almost Nothing Interesting for 25 Hours a Week," ended on

an unexpected, touching note. "When we learn to tolerate boredom,"

she said, "we find out who we really are."

 

To get to the conference, Jo Lee took an hour's train ride from the

seaside town of Brighton. She said it was worth it because her own

idea of fun is to take photographs of random marks left on walls and

of chewing gum stuck under desks.

 

"We're all overstimulated," said Ms. Lee. "I think it's important to

stop all that for a while and see what several hours of being bored

really feels like."

 

She will have her chance again next year, when Mr. Ward plans to play

host to Boring 2011. He hopes to include a talk that didn't make it

on the roster this year entitled "The Ease of Extracting Electricity

From Municipal Buildings and Beyond: A Comparison."

 

 It's about electric sockets.

 

 Write to Gautam Naik at gautam.naik@wsj.com